Dr Pepper
From Tractatus
Add an image link here titled Miracle Beverage linking to a picture of Dr Pepper.
Dr Pepper The finest soft drink1 in the world. The oldest soft drink in the United States, dating back to 1885. Older than Food:Coca-Cola, it started the craze for medicinal soft drinks.
What I like about Dr Pepper is its terrific taste, and the revitalizing power it has to enable extended coding sessions. The core of both of these is the prune juice base. It is that base which gives it the flavor, the name, and also the essential coding nutrients.
The first of these is caffeine, but only in a quantity necessary to maintain wakefulness, not the overkill of Crystal Meth, or Jolt, or Mountain Dew. But many of the other nutrients will surprise you.
Dr Pepper has more Vitamin C than Orange Juice. The dark color comes from enormous quantities of Vitamin A4. Fresh, it has more Calcium than a glass of milk. It has more Protein than a 16 ounce steak. You can live off of Dr Pepper alone for 30 days suffering no ill effects. Plus, the prune juice keeps you regular!
I myself have been able to write whole distributed file systems in one week, supplemented by the curative power of Dr Pepper. Its powers cannot be understated.
A friend of mine, , dying from cancer asked me as a last request to bring him a Dr Pepper. The doctors said that he would not live through the night. I had to open the can for him, tears streaming down my face. He drank it, and although , nauseated, he could barely keep even this Nectar of the Gods down, he thanked me. He lived through the night, so, the next day I brought him another can. And the next day, and the next. And, as you can see he still lives today, and swears that he owes his life to Dr Pepper.
I know that many have similar testimonials, and if you have one, please share it with me.
It is especially important now that the House of Representative is poised to extend the Controlled Substances Act with HR4961. Apparently, one of the secret ingredients of Dr Pepper is a native Texan herb, which in low quantities is curative, and perfectly safe. But, because baseball players have been using it in massive quantities as a nutritive aid, Congress is irrationally banning it. You need to take action now and tell everyone how much you love Dr Pepper in its all-natural original formula! If Congress is allowed to take away this invaluable medicinal aid, it will be a tragedy from which the software industry many never recover. I know I won't.