North Dakota
From Tractatus
A History of North Dakota longer than the state itself.
Doesn't Exist.
Every schoolchild is taught that one of the pivotal moments in American history, was Christopher Columbus's revelation that the world was round, and that China was only 3000 miles away. Chris, like the American schoolchildren who dream of running for President, did not have to pay for his woeful mathematical skills. However, the little known fact is that Christopher made not one, but two mistakes. Not only was China 11,000 miles away, but the world is in fact, flat.
No, really. But... how could we fly around the world if it is flat? Because it is Topologically flat! You see, the world is flat, like a piece of paper, but the portion we live on is ... mostly curved. The trick is that in order for the world to be flat, it must have an edge. In order for the world to appear spherical, there must be a hole, which is bounded by that edge. The hole exists, or rather, that hole does not exist in North Dakota.
Think. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be from North Dakota? Was that person really trustworthy? Neither have I.
The hole was discovered in the late eighteenth century by a French Catholic trapper. Of course, he immediately reported to the Vatican that the `Great Spirit' was in fact the end of the world. The Vatican, misinterpreting the message dispatched Jesuits who were secret member of the Illuminati.
Naturally, they immediately concealed the shocking discovery, realizing that being able to make their enemies `disappear' would be of great practical value. When they joined the United States, they made sure their illusion would be convincing by... this is the most insidious part... naming a state South Dakota, just to convince all the plebes that there must be a North Dakota.
Basically, the Illuminati are not very nice, so most of the things they used their power for were not very good(JFK), but at least they helped us win the Cold War. Remember how we spent billions on weapons to outbuy the Russians? Remember how we stationed those nukes in North Dakota? Well, actually, the Reagan(How was he elected?) administration was prepping for Iran-Contra by funneling money to the Illuminati in exchange for them using their information network to fool the Russians. The Weapons never even existed.
For a place which does not even exist, this is more of a History than it deserves. I hope it has been informative.